As a way of illustrating how much advertising standards have improved since the 80s, last week's blog Beer Goggles featured a particularly sexist ad showing a woman being used as a cross between a beer coaster and a spit roast.
And it got me thinking: have we really moved on, or have we just grown so accustomed to sexism that it's only the most egregious cases that now get noticed? Or have we just replaced the tawdry tittilation of women's breasts with the equally tawdry man boobs, six-packs and whatever that part of the male body* is that points like a fleshy Vegas sign to his groin?
Recently, a Welsh bus company drove straight into a shit storm of their own making they could've avoided if only someone had spent just a fraction of the time it takes to wait for a bus to actually think about it.
Sure, Ride Me All Day is a great message, but using a naked woman holding a card like she's a homeless nympho just waiting for you to slip her your oyster card? Seriously?
What's truly surprising is that it got approved: not just by the clueless client New Adventure Travel Group, but every internal review process by their (I'm assuming former) agency. All involved need to be forced to ride a bus for a month wearing nothing but a Ride Me All Day sign.
Again, in the UK, another recent campaign should've known better. And, I suspect they actually did.
The expected media shit storm around shaming women who weren't "Beach Ready' launched Protein World - a brand no-one had heard of before - onto a national stage. It certainly created haters, but it certainly got them noticed. So much so they responded on twitter boasting that their sales have tripled, their PR team received a bonus and that they weren't "sympathisers for fatties".
But here's the thing: the poor Welsh bastard who came up with the Ride Me Bus ad thought he'd covered his arse by also including a male version. Surely, if there's a naked man saying Ride Me it's not sexist is it? But it was the objectification of women that caused the backlash. And if the Beach Ready ad featured a ripped male model would anyone have cared?
Would it be any different than seeing David Beckham posing prostrate in his overly-padded briefs?
So just who is being discriminatory?
Take BETC London's ad for Coca Cola Light. Is their Sexy Gardener TVC any different to a bunch of building site chauvinists wolf-whistling at a bit of skirt walking by?
Reverse the gender roles here and we're right back to the so-called bad old days. But for some reason, objectifying man boobs is not only ok, it's somehow empowering women. Let's call it six-pack sexism.
Check out the Dolce & Gabbana ad below. Is it really any worse than the Coke ad?
Ok sure, it looks like an overly-art-directed gang-bang. But, is a shirtless Ken hovering over back-arching Barbie only sexist toward women? And, as we all know the only men who buy D&G are gay, she's obviously just training sissy boys in how to be a proper top. It was (rightfully) removed for it's "violent, degrading imagery' but strangely, the below ad for Kolotex's Voodoo hosiery wasn't.
And even though the Advertising Standards Bureau of Australia received complaints, they were dismissed by saying "it represented a satirical comment on a patriarchal world" and that it didn't contravene their codes. Sure, crawling naked on all fours while your arsehole winks up at a leopard-clad woman holding you on a tight leather leash is satire.
Meanwhile, local Dutch men's clothing brand Suit Supply have been making suits almost as traditional as their brand of sexism for years now, and, by doing it so blatantly, they've managed to avoid too much criticism.
Sure, it caused a few predictable (and obviously planned) ripples, but, like the female models depicted, Suit Supply was obviously wanting the ensuing attention so much most people choose to simply look the other way. Or maybe that's just the Dutch.
So is that where we've landed in 2015: Equal Opportunity Objectification?
As a confessed connoisseur of man candy I'm certainly not complaining. It's just that I find the deafening silence from feminists I know funny (and we all know what great senses of humour they all have).
And, in full disclosure, we at Kingsday aren't immune to Six-Pack Sexism either.
For a couple of years now we've used sweet & shirtless young men to attract women into buying more flowers from the Bloemenbureau Holland- and it works, just like pollen-hungry bees homing in on well, sexy stamen. And with good reason: studies show consumers are 4 times more likely to respond to online ads featuring men than women. So ladies, get ready to see more shirtless, hairless disco-tits in tampon and lingerie banner ads.
But is it masculinity that we in ad land are appropriating or is it a gay sensibility of masculinity that's crept into popular culture? Check out all the men on this page: do they look stereotypically straight or gay? Even the guy in the Suit Supply ad seems to be lifting up the woman’s skirt more to finger the fabulous fabric.
But even more than the deafening silence of the feminists is the total disregard from men themselves. Can the reason be that there's no outcry from men about their exploitation is that they don't actually see themselves being exploited?
A recent article in The Guardian claimed that the reason why some straight guys occasionally dabble in same-sex activity is that they are so confident in their straight, white, male privilege that they don't mind the rules (and themselves) bending over once in a while. Because, to be straight but to perform gay acts - while always remaining uninterested - is the height of white masculinity (I can just imagine lines of gay men outside sports bars asking straight patrons how "privileged' they're feeling tonight).
But, do straight men see just another "weaker sex" to be objectified, and commodified? And, are they becoming as over-exposed to gay imagery as they are to exploitation of women that it simply reinforces their indifference?
Remember back in the 80s when the world got all hot & flustered when an under-age Brooke Shields suggestively asked "want to know what comes between me and my Calvins"?
Well, Calvin Klein are now using equally pretty young men & women to flaunt their homo/bi/tri and sexuality in their latest Fall 2015 campaign and the world reacts with barely a whimper. Just as it should be. I'm pleased that we've come this far.
Yet part of me can't shake the feeling that we're simply replacing one form of objectification with another. Already boys are growing up with negative body issues that never existed 20 years ago. Worse, dance-floors the world over are already filled with overly-tanned chavs that look like condoms filled with walnuts, thinking it's only the time they put into the gym that makes them men.
Every time I see them out at clubs I can't help but think of my boyhood He-Man toy and I look to see the word PUSH tattooed onto the small of their backs to make them swivel at the waist.
But I digress...
Don't get me wrong: there's still WAY too much horribly demeaning stuff aimed at women. On a level so all-encompassing we barely register it. Like why is it only women who give a shit what's lurking under the rim of the toilet bowl?
But what IS really heart-warming is the relatively new trend in advertising that is finally changing the way we're representing women.
Ogilvy & Mather's Real Beauty campaign for Dove has been going on for a few years now and it's still the benchmark for presenting positive images in the beauty/fashion industry. Instead of stick-insect thin models all their ads now feature a variety of 'real' women with a variety of real body shapes. And that's great.
But look again at these real women. Sure, they're not super models but are they really real? As much as I admire (and envy) many of Dove's campaigns, when they show someone truly ugly or morbidly obese and then tell me about their inner beauty then I'll think they're being really brave. They've simply replaced one stereotype for another (somewhat) more accessible one. But make no mistake: the 'real women' Dove features are still as carefully cast and art-directed as any super-model.
But what I really admire is the true 'girl power' ads of late.
The above UN Women ad, created by Mermac Ogilvy in Dubai, is so simple and so powerful, and, because the above Google search requests are all real, sadly true of what many women struggle against in too many places worldwide (and not just Muslim countries).
But it's the #LikeAGirl ads for sanitary napkin Always that I think are truly wonderful. By taking such a negative phrase that we all use so much we've become blinded by the sheer scale of its inferred discrimination, Leo Burnett created an ad that really speaks about what real beauty today should be.
Yet, I'm reminded of Martin Luther King's speech about longing for a time when people are judged not by "the color of their skin, but by the contents of their character".
How long will we have to wait before men's attitudes coalesce into the sassy attitude of 70s feminists and demand a bit more R.E.S.P.E.C.T.?
I long for the day when a #LikeAMan campaign is made for boys that shows them it's not the contours of their abs, pecs and *inguinals that make them truly beautiful.